my life: im going to finish off middle school and go on to highschool with as good of grades as i can get, then im going to go to college; probably for artschool of some sort or like... something for computer programing... maybe something like a marine biologst or astronaut.. but I love art so much, i'll probably stick to that.  anyhow, if i do move away from lincoln nebraska, i'll probably go to daytona florida, or maybe queens creek, arizona, maybe ever paris or france... who knows... anyhow... yeah. uh sorry dont know what to say.. so um... leave a coment or something damnit... bye

well i realize that i havent wrote in here in a long long time but... grr i dont know... ive just been thking a lot and not really ABLE to write down my thoughts...anyhow, theyre so confusing that you wouldnt understand them anyway.  i stayed after school today to listen to jazz band... sean decided that he didnt wanna play guitar today so of course jordan decided not to play bass .... eddie is still a really good drummer and all but he was too loud w/o the bass and guitar.  so vavavoom.. today was a pretty mellow day when i got home.. i played my bass till like... an hour ago... (its 8:15) so thats a pretty long time w/o anything particularly learning... or whatever...

mood now: sad, lonely, helpless...

bridget

As you can see the title, this entry is going to be about Kurt Cobain, to those of you who don't know who he was, he's a damn good guitarist... people say he shot himself but i believe that it was staged my courtney love, at the time, his wife, getting ready to get a divorce.  All of the suddon EVERYONE (well the "skater" dudes and all the "punk dudes) is starting to really get into Kurt Cobain and his music.  Theyre wearing "Nirvana" or "Kurt Cobain" shirts, theyre playing his music, theyre even reading his diary/journal. I can deal with all the other stuff, but not with the Journal, whoever published it, should be shot. Any true Kurt Cobain fan has GOT to have more respect for him than to read his journal, that was HIS stuff, HIS personal feelings, thoughts, songs. I'm sure that if there is a heaven, he's looking down upon his so called fans that are reading his personal shit, frowning upon them.  I sure as hell woudlnt be happy if the public got ahold of my journal, even if i was dead. Now, I'm not one of those freaks that believes Kurt Cobain is still alive physically, but I do believe that he's alive in each one of his TRUE fans. I look up to Kurt Cobain in so many ways, hes honestly my inspiration... god forbid he had a pretty fucked up life, with drugs and all.. I'd have to say, taht I honestly didnt like that about him but, he was such a talented man...
Kurt Cobain will forever live in our hearts...

...someday ill be happy...


hm yeah anywho its getting kinda late.. and ive got bass tomorrow... fun. my stupid dad was kinda yelling at me tonight about going over to his fucking house, i cant stand him. one day, when hes old weak and dying, ill laugh in his face- shove all his wrong doings at him... maybe he'll feel as bad as he makes ME feel.

Well, today was fairly boring. I didn't wanna get up, but I didn't wanna sleep any longer, I didn't wanna go to school, but I didn't wanna stay at home, so, I guess that I know what I don't want, maybe thats a start.  When I got to school for some reasion it felt different today, peaceful, almost. I don't know why, maybe becasue we didn't have P.E.  Woo Hoo. I got my animation done in computer class, it was for the finals. I made two dudes in a garage jamming out and such, with a drum set behind them then one said dude, we need a drummer or we needa get rid of this thing (I made them say that becasue it was a lot of work having it there) So they got rid of the drum set and kept on jamming.. then it said "Lost In The Music" and it zoomed out of the earth. Pretty cool. Uh... in Health, I pretty much just sat quietly and did my homework, yeah, I'm a good girl. I didn't feel like chatting much today. In FCS we had to clean up so Jordan and I went over by the window and opened it, pretending to clean it... we were thinking about just jumping out and going home.. but neither of us would ever do it... In English we had a sub his muscles were bigger than my thigh (which is in all reality really big) He said that he was a weight trainer. Wooh. He was kind of an ass, but he had pretty eyes. I think he was gay though, not that it matters. In Science we had to take our finals I couldnt believe how easy it was, that class is usually super hard... guess my subconcience did some work there. After science we had lunch... i sat alone for like.. 5 minutes untill jordan showed up then i talked to her... later on Garret came over and talked to me for a while...  He's so nice. Then it was off to Social Studies.. which was boring. Tanner acted sad and didnt talk, Nathan was doing his school work and Tony was drawing.. So i made a comic.  Uh... then to algebra.. We had to take a CRT there wooh fun.  The bell rang and i went to my locker.. and forgot my book in the class room so i went back there.. got it and left.. we dropped nick off and went to burger king. i had fries.  When I got home, i played on my bass for about an hour or so... and now, im on the computer, typing this pointless journal entry so.. bye

 dont you think it's ironic that the things, people, actions, thoughts, the things that you love the most, the things that make you feel like ur flying, the things that make you feel like ur floating on water with out haveing to have to worry about the water holding you up...   can also hurt you the most, can tear at ur inside, almost killing you from the inside out, and yet the only thing that can make it better is the thing, person, action, or thought that started it? dont you find it ironic that life in itself is a miracle, and yet people cant stand it, the thought of living out the rest of their life, how life seems to focus on the bad things, people, actions, thoughts? How again these things, people, actions, thoughts, make your life worth living for and yet can just as easily make ur life hell...   

too many people wrap themselves in secrets, in shadows, in dishonest illusions.  they tell so many lies that they often forget who they are and where they have come from.  instead of learning from past experiences, they try to deny everything that has happened, the falsify themselves to the point where they are no longer real, and thus, just an illusion.
Eric... my buddy the drummer

I really really like the band Farewell Adeline. Theyre a really good. Theyre like a indie/lo-fi/college, rock, folk band... but theyre really really good. Theyre nice to listen to when your feeling down, laying on your bed...sifting through your thoughts and intermost wants and needs.  Yeah.. uh.. mm hmmm..  another REALLY good band is blacklight sunshine.. theyre like rockish hard rock idk what to classify them as but BlacklightSunshine is really good.  Uhm.. lets see here.. more reccomendations.. oh yeah.. Dystortion Mmmmm.. Yeah. Thats baout it for this entry so uh, ill talk to you later. bye whoever you are.

WAR! HUH! WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ABSOLUTLY NOTHING!
-trevor :-D